And so this year, not only do I go snowboarding, but also cause the heaviest snow fall in London for 20 years. I have learnt that with snow, there's the good, the bad and the ugly.
Good Snow
For the good snow, we ventured to La Bresse, about 5 hours drive east of Paris with Mia and Dan. Thanks to our trusty GPS navigation device on Mel's blackberry, we made it to our mountain top chalet in pitch dark.
Three fantastic sunny days which I spent mostly on my backside are summed up quite perfectly in photos.
My experience of snow-boarding went something like this:
1. Put on several layers of clothes including very fashionable one piece ski suit recently acquired from the children's department of largest sporting chain in France.
2. Wonder why every child under the age of 12 is wearing exactly the same suit. Remember point 1 above and decide that next time, go designer.
3. Watch as Mel follows young children around thinking they are me.
4. Spend 15 minutes putting on snowboard. Watch Mel do the same thing in 20 seconds.
5. Attempt to mount a pommer on the kiddie slopes. Fall off. Try again. Fall off again. Repeat ad nauseum. Exchange expletives with pommer and shock little kids. Get glares from disapproving parents. Decide to walk up mountain and wonder why I paid for a lift pass.
6. Come down mountain on bum. Feel happy that I have one piece suit until 4 year old wearing same suit wizzes past me. Decide that I have finally discovered the meaning of embarrassment.
7. Spend 15 minutes taking foot out of snowboard. Watch Mel watch me with disbelief.
8. Attempt ski lift. Enjoy ski lift. Dismount face forward from ski lift. Don't enjoy ski lift so much anymore.
9. Attempt harder mountain. Decide that I am not a fan of heights, speed or other people.
10. Lunch. My favourite part of the day. Attempt to distract others into staying longer. Buy fries to prolong lunch. Watch fries disappear way too quickly for my liking. Suggest another plate of fries. Receive glares.
11. Keep attempting blue run until I can make it down without falling more than 500 times. Lose count at 445 and decide that it is close enough. Fluke a turn. Unfortunately Mel is not watching. Celebrate for a moment and then fall.
12. Attempt pommer. Fall. Repeat ad nauseum. Curse, cry and then move on.
13. Get dragged by ever so optomistic Mel to another blue run. Name the blue run "mountain of death". Glare at sheepish Mel. Next day, we attempt "bigger mountain of death". Glare at an even more sheepish Mel.
14. Return to our mountain home, drink vin chaud, eat cheese and excellent food in great company. Play card games. Note that no sense of balance or fearlessness required and demand that cards be our sport of choice.
15. Learn difference between snow and ice. The hard way. Literally.
16. Leave the mountains and try to use trusty GPS again to leave the mountains. Discover that google maps does not account for roads blocked by metres of snow. Backtrack. Look sheepish.
17. Return home in one piece and wonder how.
This would be Mel coming down a mountain.
And this would be me attempting a somewhat less challenging descent:
The Bad Snow
A few weeks ago London had the worst snow in 20 years and it brought the city to a standstill - half the tube lines weren't running, none of the overground lines or buses were running. Of course, when it first fell, we all were mistaken into thinking it was good snow. A beautiful white carpet covering everything in fairy floss.
Here's Andrea preparing for a snow fight.
But then good snow turned bad. It became slippery and icey, I was told not to go to work for a day (OK, so maybe it wasn't sooo bad), and then finally sludgy. For days after the snowfall, going to work was like a death wish. I fell a number of times, a work colleague broke her arm.
Ugly Snow
The ugliness of sludgy snow cannot be beaten. It's 'snow' laughing matter.
Apologies for the slackness in news - the routine of life takes you over and then there's not so much to say!
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